How To Get A Guy’s Phone Number Without Getting Shot Down
How To Get A Guy’s Phone Number So You Can Ask His Out.
“How Can I Get A Guy’s Number?”
It’s the most commonly asked question guys have when they’re interested in a guy. Asking for a phone number is one of the most nerve-wracking things you can ever try. You get so wrapped up in the possibility of blowing it that you lose sight of why he’s talking to you in the first place–because he’s interested. Even if that interest is mild or ambiguous.
In the wake of all that anticipatory anxiety it’s easy to sound so desperate, meek or try-hard that you practically guarantee some form of rejection (like when he says, “Why don’t you give me your number instead?” or “I don’t give out my number to people I don’t know”).
I’m Not An Expert On How To Get A Guy’s Number But I’m Going To Show You The Techniques Of Guys Who Are.
I’m not a seduction guru who “cracked the code” and brags about how they can get a phone number in 3 minutes flat. I’m a journalist who wrote the definitive guide to asking a guy for his number by interviewing seduction experts, social psychologists, leading sales experts, and most importantly, good looking women who get hit on a lot.
The problem with listening to any one expert is that you only get one perspective. And while these experts may be wildly successful, most of them are raging extroverts. What if you’re not?
I mean, it’s fine if you have the kind of personality that could talk to a wall and go home with the plaster, but most guys don’t have that kind of personality.
To combat the One Perspective/One Personality trap I looked at ALL the techniques for asking a guy for his number. The result is How To Get A Guy’s Phone Number So You Can Ask His Out. It’s a “Best Practices” Guide to getting a man’s phone number. You will not be learning “my” techniques, but the techniques that players, women, psychologists and sales geniuses all agree have the best chance to land you a number. Whether you’re in a bar, restaurant, a park, hell, even an elevator.
By providing different perspectives and solid rationales from the fields of sales and persuasion, you’re going to find solutions that you’re more comfortable using, given that everyone has different personalities.
One last thing. This isn’t a guide to trick or manipulate women into doing something they may not want to do. After all, what good is tricking or pressuring a guy to give you his number if he has no intention of calling you back?
This is a manual that helps you connect with a man more fully so that he wants to give you his phone number and in turn, wants to pick up the phone when you call.
So make some space in your phone. By the time you finish reading this guide, you’re going to need it.
“How Can I Get A Guy’s Number?” — Tip #1
Only Ask If You Have Establihed a Genuine Connection. Otherwise you’re going to get a fake number or worse, never get your calls returned. Some of those “seduction experts” may be able to close his in three minutes flat, but that isn’t the reality of the vast majority of guys. Most psychologists who study dating behavior agree that a 15-20 minute conversation before asking for the phone number maximizes your chances of getting it. There are exceptions, of course. It’s possible to establish a genuine connection in a couple of minutes, and if either one of you have to rush out it’s imperative that you ask quickly (more on that later).
“How Can I Get A Guy’s Number?” — Tip #2
Never Actually Ask For His Phone Number. “Asking” for his number is like asking for permission to call. That is not Alpha Male behavior. Here are examples of “permission-asking” behavior:
May I have your number?
Can I call you some time?
Would you give me your phone number?
So how do you get his to give you his phone number if you’re not supposed to ask? Keep reading.
“How Can I Get A Guy’s Number?” — Tip #3
Always Tell His What You Plan To Do With His Number. Psychologist Robert Cialdini, in his critically-acclaimed book, Influence, discovered a remarkable phenomenon in human behavior: People are far more likely to comply with a request if if you give them a reason for making it–even if the reason is patently obvious.
So, always frame your request for a number with a reason for having it. It sounds foolish, doesn’t it? Like, what else are you going to do with his phone number, right? You have to spell it out?
Yes, if you want to increase your chances of getting it. Cialdini discovered that when you give people a reason for your request it triggers a kind of “compliance justification.” Bottom line: Women are going to respond much better if you tell them why you want their number and what you plan to do with it.
Here are some examples of how to phrase it:
“… so that we can continue the conversation later…”
“… so I can tell you when the next gallery opening is scheduled…”
“… because I want to get to know you better.”
“… because you can give me a tour of the city some time since I just moved here.”
“How Can I Get A Guy’s Number?” — Tip #4
Create A Time Constraint. As in, “I’ve got to run–I’m meeting some friends out and I’m late.” Saying that you have to leave creates both a sense of urgency and scarcity so that when the phone number request comes in, he’s more likely to comply.
The words “I have to go now” are very powerful (if he’s attracted to you) because of the perceived loss. It’s natural for his to think, “It’s now or never. If I don’t give him my phone number now I might not ever see him again.”
“How Can I Get A Guy’s Number?” — Tip #5
Let His Know When You’ll Call. Saying something like, “I’ll call you Saturday afternoon” or “I’ll text you tomorrow” does two things: It lets his know you’re serious and it builds anticipation. If you call when you say you will you’ll earn major points.
What Exactly Is In My Book, How To Get A Guy’s Phone Number So You Can Ask His Out?
Here is the Table Of Contents of my short guide (27 pages) to asking for a guy’s phone number:
Why You Should Ask For His Email Instead Of His Number
• The five reasons why experts say email is better than phone.
• Why asking for an email address almost always results in his giving you his phone number.
Examples Of How To Ask For His Email Address
• Word-for-word examples, complete with their psychological rationales
• What if he doesn’t have email (or claims not to)? Experts reveal charming, humorous ways to overcome his objections.
What To Write In Your First Email To His
• The five most important factors in getting a man to respond positively.
• Examples of wildly successful emails
The Ten Most Effective Ways To Get His Phone Number
• Step-by-step guide, complete with exact wording on how to phrase the question.
• Includes Seeding The Idea Of A Meet-Up, The Pedal To The Metal Approach, The Funny & Playful, The Getting It Without Asking, Getting His To Ask You For It and Neutral Dominance methods.
Bonus Chapter! How To Get A Stripper’s Phone Number
(It really is an art form)
Should You Keep Talking After You Get His Number?
There is consensus among experts, but I explore the opposing views to give you the choice that best suits your personality.
Don’t Ruin Your Chances: Avoid These Five Common Mistakes
• Includes the classics, like forgetting his name by the time he gives you his number. Find out how to handle these mistakes without insulting his or ruining your chances.
How Long To Wait Before You Make The First Call
• Experts agree, there is one and only one rule. Find out what it is. It’ll surprise you.
Should You Leave A Voice Mail Or Call Back?
• Again, there is universal consensus. Here’s how to make it work for you.
What To Say On The First Call (Or Text)
• Word-for-word examples of “first” texts that elicit positive responses from women.
• Word-for-word examples of “first” calls that endear you to women.
How To Avoid Conversational Dead-Ends On The First Call
• Discover what linguists call the concept of “Multiple Threads” in a conversation and how they add zest and energy to conversations.
• Word-for-word examples of how to use “Multiple Threads.”