How To Text A Man.
Master The Keys On Your Phone
And You’ll Get The Keys To His Door.
Subjects Covered In This Piece:
→ How To Text A Guy
→ What To Text A Guy
→ When To Text A Man
→ How To Text Dirty To A Guy (!!)
→ How To Flirt With A Guy Through Text
Weʼre living in a textual world, and if you want to get anywhere with the guys youʼre attracted to, youʼre going to have to learn how to make his pockets vibrate when you’re not there. There really are only a few hard and fast rules to texting a crush, a date, a possible hookup, a boyfriend or even a husband…
How To Text A Man Rule #1:
Do Not Bore Him With An Open-Ended Text.
Don’t do this:
“Hey, what’s up?”
You will just get the obvious, socially programmed response of “Not much, how about you?” This is an interview question, and will bore the hell out of him. In fact, you may as well have texted:
“Would you mind coming up with something interesting to say because I’m so boring the plaster peels off the wall when I talk to it.”
Not only are you announcing that youʼve got the personality of a Kansas zip code, youʼre leaving him in the awkward situation of creating the value for a conversation you started. If you start a text thread donʼt ask for value; deliver it. Click here for a more detailed explanation of how to text a guy you like. It’s a kick-butt guide to making him obsess over you.
How To Text A Man Rule #2: Make Him Smile.
Be quirky, fun, observational. Now seriously, which text would you rather get:
“Hi, how are you?”
“Just saw a drag queen on a scooter stop at a red light and fix her make-up!”
Remember, if you can make him laugh, you’re halfway up his leg. Or his wallet, depending on what you’re up to.
What To Text A Guy.
One of the best ways to text a guy you like is to reinforce the memory of an interaction. With wit. So, tease out an inside joke or some recollection of your conversation. Letʼs say you were
both complaining about your jobs when you last talked. Your text should read something like this:
“I swear, my boss is so conceited he takes a bow when he hears thunder!”
Now, the truth is, it’s sometimes hard to come up with funny text messages. That’s why I wrote The Flirty Text Message Helper, an instant download eBook that’s filled with witty texts for clever people. It’s only $6.99. Stop struggling to come up with witty text flirts. This funny, sometimes naughty but always engaging list of flirt texts will spark lots of ideas in you. Sometimes, all you need is a push and your creativity kicks in to gear.
The Golden Rule On What To Text A Guy:
Keep It Short.
Length is the enemy of humor. If you want to make him smile, keep it short. In my eBook, The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People, I have hundreds of funny text messages you can use to put a smile on his face. At $6.99 it’s a steal. Grab it here. Plus, it downloads as a PDF file so you don’t need an eReader like Kindle or iPad.
Let’s say you want to strike up a conversation. You don’t want to open with “what’s up” because that’s the kiss of death. What do you say? Well, you turn to Page 14 of my eBook, under the “Make Them Laugh” section and you pull out any number of gems.
How To Flirt Text With A Guy You Like.
The job of a good flirt text is to build attraction, increase sexual tension and set the stage for a date. Or if you’re already in a relationship, keep the home fires burning. Let’s get the unsexy part out of the way: Grammar. Proper grammar is a turn-on to the intelligent. So, PROOFREAD. At least for the first few texts. You donʼt want to leave them with the impression that youʼre an illiterate who kant spill.
If the guy you like receives a misspelled flirt text from you, he’s not going to think it’s cute or that you pushed the wrong buttons by mistake. He’s going to think you’re stupid.
How To Flirt Text A Guy Rule #1: Assume Rapport.
Tease your guy in a familiar way—as if you already know him. It sets the tone for a casual and fun exchange. That means avoiding stiff or formal language. Like. “How are you?” My flirt text guide is practically “Flirting Viagra”– use a couple of the rapport-assuming text flirts in it and his love for you will rise to the occasion.
How To Flirt Text A Guy Rule #2: Tease.
Here’s the problem a lot people have in knowing how to text a man: They get so nervous trying to think of the perfect thing to text that they –BRAIN FART– can’t think of anything at all. That’s where my eBook, The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People comes in handy. Just flip through the hundreds of witty texts and you’ll come up with something brilliant. It’s categorized by 19 different dating circumstances so you can zero in on the closest situation you’re in.
Let’s say you’re in a situation where it’s clear you both REALLY like each other. Just flip to the section called, “You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Explicitly Flirty” and you’ll see gems like this one:
Likely reply: Stop what?
You: Stop thinking about me. See, you’re doing it…right now.
Isn’t that great? Wouldn’t you smile if you got a text like that? Grab my ebook now and get hundreds more like it. Now, not everyone you meet is going to have the same level of interest you have. So, what if you’re in a situation where you really like him but he seems ambivalent? You can’t send a flirty text message because it’ll come off too strong. The answer? Engage him with a funny question. Like this one from my eBook under the section, “He’s Ambivalent So Go Slow”:
“My neighbor wants to name her two puppies after an 80s pop duo.
What do you think of Milli Vanilli?”
I have personally picked these texts (along with my team of researchers), ensuring that you don’t get any eye-rolling cliches or poems that make you look longingly at that box of rat poison. Get started with the $6.99 eBook here and you’ll get access to hundreds of funny, flirty texts when you can’t think of what to text a guy you like.
How To Text Dirty To A Guy.
Sometimes you just want to be naughty. There’s a certain feeling of power when you know how to turn on a guy over text. In this case you have to strike a balance between humor and naughtiness. Too funny and you lose the erotic charge. Too direct and you sound like a bad video from Xtube.com.
Knowing how to text dirty to a guy requires a careful balance between the two. In The Flirty Text Message Helper, you’ll find the perfect examples of how to dirty flirt text with a guy. There are two sections filled with inventive naughty texts you can send:
1. “Dirty Flirty Texts To Send After You’ve Had Sex”
2. “Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom”
All of the flirt texts in these categories are both witty and naughty. Unfortunately, they’re not appropriate to list them here. To use them, just click here and get started. It’s only $6.99 and it comes with monthly updates and two bonus eReports: The Guide To Sending Irresistible Texts and The Awesome Compilation Of The Most Creative Emoticons. grab the $6.99 package here.
Meet The Author
Hi, I’m Michael Alvear. I co-hosted HBO’s The Sex Inspectors with international best seller Tracey Cox. I blog for the Huffington Post and authored many sex, dating and relationship books including, Sex Inspectors Master Class: How To Have An Amazing Sex Life (based on the TV series), Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon and Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat: How To Stop Worrying About Your Body & Have Great Sex.
But more importantly, I’m a guy who loves showing women how to text men. I’ve shown hundreds of women the art of the text tease and have seen first-hand how improving your texting can result in an astounding number of dates and relationships. I compiled The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People out of my experiences on the TV show. I noticed that while women were better texters than men (and certainly better flirts), they often sent gushy cliches or the kind of lame phrases that made guys roll their eyes.
Take it from me–the way to your crush’s heart is through his funny bone. Guys LOVE women who can make them laugh. Look at any survey done on what men want in women and humor tops the chart (after a long list of T&A attributes of course!). If he has your phone number he’s interested at some level. Don’t blow it with lame texts. Learn how to text a guy in a way that turns interest into a date. Try the techniques in my eBook and if you’re not happy with the results I will personally issue a refund. That’s my promise to you. Click here and start flirt texting!
All the best,
The Flirty Text Message Helper
Has Text Flirts For Every Romantic Situation.
It’s categorized by 19 dating situations. Which one are you in?
1. You Don’t Know How Interested They Are So You Want To Start Slow
2. You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Flirty
3. You Want To Make Them Laugh
4. Cute Ways Of Saying Hello After Texting A Few Times
5. Cute Ways of Saying Goodbye
6. Clever Questions That Make You More Interesting For Asking.
7. You Want To Play Hard To Get (Cocky Funny)
8. “Unclogger” Texts: Getting Him Or Her To Text You Back
9. Clever Questions To Ask When You Don’t Know How To Start A New Thread
10. You Want To Be Seen As Fun & Wacky
11. You Want To Be Seen As A Partier
12. Teasing: Taking The Hot Girl Or Guy Down A Peg Or Two
13. Insults: Mowing Down The Hot Girl Or Guy
14. You Want To Step It Up To A Phone Call
15. Dirty Flirty: You’ve had sex
16. Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom
17. You’re falling in love
18. You screwed up
19. Fun Phrases
If you’re not satisfied, for any reason simply send me an email at info@michaelalvear dot com and I will cheerfully refund your order, no questions asked.
The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People Comes With eReports Worth $10 For FREE.
Free Report #1 GUIDE TO WRITING IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS.
Proven techniques to make a great first impression, build attraction and score a date. From getting him to respond quicker to getting him to say yes to a meet-up, this report is filled with can’t-miss tips.
Free Report #2 MONTHLY UPDATES
Our team of writers and researchers write and discover original texts so you’ll always be kept up to date (via email).
Free Report #3 HOW TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN ICEBREAKERS
Templates for creating fun, personalized conversation starters. A great way to develop unique icebreakers that project intelligence, warmth and sensuality.
Free Report #4 COMPILATION OF GREATEST EMOTICONS
Compilation of the most creative emoticons. Forget the over-used ones like: :>) Try new ones like:
＼＾o＾／ or even better, this table flipper: (╯°□°）╯ ︵ ┻━┻
What People Just Like You
Think Of Flirty Text Message Helper.
Now, before you plunk down cold, hard, cash, take a look at some of the feedback from our customers:
I’ve always thought of myself as a clever person so at first I was a little reticent about buying The Flirty Text Message Helper, cuz I thought, “What am i going to do, look something up for every text I send?” But a funny thing happened on the way to reading your collection–your text messages sparked insanely good ideas in me. So thank you, not so much for your texts (haha) but the creative fire they lit in me. Cheers!
– Susan Amdahl, 25, Seattle
“At first, I thought this was only for gay men, but I was wrong. It’s perfect for straight women like me! You really ought to make that clearer. So glad I took a chance. I rarely start a text with a guy but I go through the same nervousness–I mean, how do you keep the conversation going, right? Well, your collection REALLY helped. If I ever run out of ideas I just crack open your collection and get some ideas. Thank you!”
–Lizbeth, 23 New York
“I’m one of those guys who REALLY thinks about what he’s going to text, so your collection is perfect for me. At first, I was afraid I was going to over-use them, but then your monthly updates kicked in and now it seems I never send out the same text twice.”
–Mary, 30, Chula Vista, CA
Never Run Out Of Clever Things To Text
A Guy You Like.
With monthly updates by my team of writers and researchers, two free, kick-butt eReports and classified by 19 dating situations for fast access, you’ll know exactly what to text a guy. We believe in quality over quantity. Only the wittiest texts get included in our growing database. Right now there are only about 350 text flirts in the eBook. Why? Because we don’t include eye-rolling crap.
Stop struggling to come up with witty text flirts. This funny, sometimes naughty but always engaging list of flirt texts will spark even more ideas in you. Sometimes, all you need is a push and you’re creativity kicks in to gear.
Need More Info? Check out our FAQ:
1. How do you decide which text messages go into the Flirty Text Message Helper?
We’re allergic to cliches, rhymes, poems and cheesy pickup lines. Therefore, we won’t include a text if it:
* Makes our eyes roll
* Evokes the sound of nails on a chalkboard
* Makes us long for a shot of insulin
* Reads like a passage from a flowery, Victorian novel
In Other Words, it must:
A. Make us smile or laugh
B. Make us want to know more about the person who sent it
C. Make us think, “Tonight just got more interesting!”
2. Where do you get your funny text messages from?
We write our own, scour the web and steal our best friends’ text messages. Then we actually test them on guys, girls, even trannies! If they fit the criteria (See #1) they get included.
3. How many texts are in the Flirty Text Message Helper collection?
We’ve hand-picked 320 texts across 19 dating situations. Our collection will grow every month through updates we send via email. Why not more? BECAUSE MOST TEXTS SUCK and our pride will not allow us to include sucky, douchy texts.
Can You Believe The Crap That’s Out There?
If you’ve looked online for ideas on how to text a girl or how to text a guy, you know the sheer volume will make you go cross-eyed. And the cheesiness will make you reach for the Rolaids.
Do you really have the time–or the stomach–to go through all those websites and pick out the gems? We do. Our team of writers and researchers either find or create the winning texts you’ll see in The Flirty Text Message Helper.
Why spend days online when you can get the best in a click of a button? (And get monthly updates!). Get started with The Flirty Text Message Helper here. It’s only $6.99 and it comes with monthly updates and free bonuses.
All the best,
P.S. -The Flirty Text Message Helper is a collection of pre-written flirty texts you can send to the person you’re interested in. Written or hand-picked by our team of writers and researchers and classified by dating circumstance, you’ll never run out of clever things to say! We emphasize quality over quantity–only the wittiest texts get included. At $6.99 it’s a steal.
Sending Flirty Texts To Guys You Like Will Never Be The Same!
*Want to pay by check? Send to the following address and we’ll email you the ebook right away:
Woodpecker Media LLC
1579 Monroe Drive Suite #F-501
Atlanta, GA 30324