How To Text A Man

 

If You Canʼt Master The Keys On The Phone
Youʼre Never Going To Get The Keys To His Door.

 

 

Subjects Covered In This Piece:

→  How To Text A Guy
→  What To Text A Guy
→  When To Text A Guy
→  How To Text Dirty To A Guy (!!)
→  How To Flirt With A Guy Through Text

 

 

Weʼre living in a textual world, and if you want to get anywhere with the guys youʼre attracted to, youʼre going to have to learn how to make his pockets vibrate when you’re not there.

There really are only a few hard and fast rules to texting a crush, a date, a possible hookup, a boyfriend or even a husband…

How To Text A Man Rule #1: 

Do NOT Send An Open-Ended Text.

Hereʼs the very worst one you can send:

 

“Hey, what’s up?”

 

You will just get the obvious, socially programmed response of “Not much, how about you?” This is an interview question, and will bore the hell out of him.  In fact, you may as well have texted:

 

 

“Would you mind coming up with something interesting to say because I’m so boring the plaster peels off the wall when I talk to it.”

Not only are you announcing that youʼve got the personality of a Kansas zip code, youʼre leaving him in the awkward situation of creating the value for a conversation you started.  If you start a text thread donʼt ask for value; deliver it.

 

 

How To Text A Man Rule #2: 

Make Him Smile.

 

Be quirky, fun, observational.  Now seriously, which text would you rather get:

 

 

“Hi, how are you?”

 

 

Or

 

“I just saw a drag queen on a mini-scooter stop at a red light and fix her make-up!”

 

 

Remember, if you can make him laugh, you’re halfway up his leg.  Or his wallet, depending on what you’re up to.

 

 

What To Text A Guy

 

 

One of the best ways to text a guy you like is to reinforce the memory of an interaction.  With wit.  So, tease out an inside joke or some recollection of your conversation.  Letʼs say you were
both complaining about your jobs when you last talked. Your text should read something like this:

 

 

 

“I swear, my boss is so conceited he takes a bow when he hears thunder!”

 

 

 

Now, the truth is, it’s sometimes hard to come up with funny text messages.  That’s why I wrote The Flirty Text Message Helper, an instant download eBook that’s filled with witty texts for clever people.  It’s only $6.99). Later on I’ll show you more examples taken straight out of the collection. Meantime, onward!

 

Remember, the ultimate goal of flirt texting is to create desire for you.  First by making him laugh, then progressively getting flirtier (hey, is that a word?).

The Golden Rule On What To Text A Guy:  Keep It Short

 

 

Do not break this rule or it will be your undoing.  This is especially true if you just met the guy.  Long messages = neediness.  It means you’re so in love with him, you’re so besotted that you spend hours crafting a special text just for him.    Ever gotten a long text from somebody you barely knew?

 

Two words:  Restraining order.

 

No one wants to read a manifesto, so keep it concise. Things you would normally say in a conversation cannot be said via text, first because you cannot have more than 160 characters in a single text before it gets broken up into separate messages.

 

 

But more importantly, length is the enemy of humor.  If you want to make him smile, keep it short.  In my eBook, The Flirty Text Message Helper:  Witty Texts For Clever People, I have hundreds of funny text messages you can use to put a smile on his face.  At $6.99 (a price with a sense of humor) it’s a steal.  Order it here. Plus, it downloads as a PDF file so you don’t need an eReader like Kindle or iPad.

 

 

Let’s say you want to strike up a conversation.  You don’t want to open with “what’s up” because that’s the kiss of death.  What do you say?  Well, you turn to Page 14 of my eBook, under the “Make Them Laugh” section and you pull out this gem:

 

 

 

I renamed my iPod ‘The Titanic’ so when I plug it in it to my computer it says,

“The Titanic is Syncing.”

 

 

How To Flirt Text With A Guy You Like

 

The job of a good flirt text is to build attraction, increase sexual tension and set the stage for a date.  Or if you’re already in a relationship, keep the home fires burning.

 

Let’s get the unsexy part out of the way:  Grammar.  Proper grammar is a turn-on to the intelligent.  So, PROOFREAD.  At least for the first few texts. You donʼt want to leave them with the impression that youʼre an illiterate who kant spill.

 

If the guy you like receives a misspelled flirt text from you, he’s not going to think it’s cute or that you pushed the wrong buttons by mistake.  He’s going to think you’re stupid.

How To Flirt Text A Guy Rule #1:  Assume Rapport

 

 

Tease your guy in a familiar way—as if you already know him. It sets the tone for a casual and fun exchange. That means avoiding stiff or formal language. Like. “How are you?”

 

Assuming rapport means skipping the pleasantries and launching directly into a message.  Think of how you text your friends.  You rarely text something formal like “How was your day.”  You’d just go right into it.  That’s because you already have rapport.  Now, pretend you have it with your guy, and flirt texting becomes much easier.

How To Flirt Text A Guy Rule #2:  Tease

Here’s the problem a lot people have in knowing how to text a man:  They get so nervous trying to think of the perfect thing to text that they –BRAIN FART– can’t think of anything at all.

 

 

That’s where my eBook, The Flirty Text Message Helper:  Witty Texts For Clever People comes in handy.  Just flip through the hundreds of witty texts and you’ll come up with something brilliant.  It’s categorized by 19 different dating circumstances so you can zero in on the closest situation you’re in.

 

 

Let’s say you’re in a situation where it’s clear you both REALLY like each other.  Just flip to the section called, “You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Explicitly Flirty” and you’ll see gems like this one:

 

 

 

You: STOP.
Likely reply: Stop what?

 

You: Stop thinking about me. See, you’re doing it…right now.

 

Isn’t that great? Wouldn’t you smile if you got a text like that? Order my ebook now and get hundreds more like it. Now, not everyone you meet is going to have the same level of interest you have.  So, what if you’re in a situation where you really like him but he seems ambivalent.  You can’t send a flirty text message because it’ll come off to strong.  The answer?  You engage him with a funny question.  Like this one from my eBook under the section, “He’s Ambivalent So Go Slow.”

 

 

 

“My neighbor wants to name her two puppies after an 80s pop duo.  What do you think of Milli Vanilli?”

 

 

 

The Flirty Text Message Helper is a collection of witty flirt texts you can pull out at a moment’s notice when you don’t know what to text a guy.

 

I have personally picked these texts (along with my team of researchers), ensuring that you don’t get any eye-rolling cliches or poems that make you look longingly at that box of rat poison.  Order the $6.99 eBook here and you’ll get access to hundreds of funny, flirty texts when you can’t think of what to text a guy you like.

How To Text Dirty To A Guy

Sometimes you just want to be naughty.  There’s a certain feeling of power when you know how to turn on a guy over text.    In this case you have to strike a balance between humor and naughtiness.  Too funny and you lose the erotic charge.  Too direct and you sound like a bad video from Xtube.com.

 

Knowing how to text dirty to a guy requires a careful balance between the two.  In The Flirty Text Message Helper, you’ll find the perfect examples of how to dirty flirt text with a guy.  There are two sections filled with inventive naughty texts you can send:

 

 

 

1.  “Dirty Flirty Texts To Send After You’ve Had Sex”

2.  “Filthy Dirty:  Texts That Would Scare Your Mom”

 

 

 

All of the flirt texts in these categories are both witty and naughty.  Unfortunately, they’re not appropriate to list them here.  To use them, just click here and order the eBook.  It’s only $6.99 and it comes with monthly updates and two bonus eReports:  The Guide To Sending Irresistible Texts and The Awesome Compilation Of The Most Creative Emoticons.  You can order the $6.99 package here.

The Flirty Text Message Helper

Has Text Flirts For Every Romantic Situation

 

 

It’s categorized by 19 dating situations.  Which one are you in?

 

1. You Don’t Know How Interested They Are So You Want To Start Slow
2. You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Flirty
3. You Want To Make Them Laugh
4. Cute Ways Of Saying Hello After Texting A Few Times
5. Cute Ways of Saying Goodbye
6. Clever Questions That Make You More Interesting For Asking.
7. You Want To Play Hard To Get (Cocky Funny)
8. “Unclogger” Texts: Getting Him Or Her To Text You Back
9. Clever Questions To Ask When You Don’t Know How To Start A New Thread
10. You Want To Be Seen As Fun & Wacky
11. You Want To Be Seen As A Partier
12. Teasing: Taking The Hot Girl Or Guy Down A Peg Or Two
13. Insults: Mowing Down The Hot Girl Or Guy
14. You Want To Step It Up To A Phone Call
15. Dirty Flirty: You’ve had sex
16. Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom
17. You’re falling in love
18. You screwed up
19. Fun Phrases

 

Order the eBook here and start sending witty texts right away.  It’s only $6.99 and it comes with monthly updates.

What People Just Like You Think Of Flirty Text Message Helper

 

 

Now, before you plunk down cold, hard, cash, take a look at some of the feedback from our customers:
Hello Mike!
I’ve always thought of myself as a clever person so at first I was a little reticent about buying The Flirty Text Message Helper, cuz I thought, “What am i going to do, look something up for every text I send?” But a funny thing happened on the way to reading your collection–your text messages sparked insanely good ideas in me. So thank you, not so much for your texts (haha) but the creative fire they lit in me. Cheers!

– Martin Amdahl, 25, Seattle

 

 

 

Hi  Mike!
“At first, I thought this was only for gay men, but I was wrong.  It’s perfect for straight women like me! You really ought to make that clearer. So glad I took a chance. I rarely start a text with a guy but I go through the same nervousness–I mean, how do you keep the conversation going, right? Well, your collection REALLY helped. If I ever run out of ideas I just crack open your collection and get some ideas. Thank you!”

 

–Lizbeth, 23 New York

 

 

 

Dear Mike,
“I’m one of those guys who REALLY thinks about what he’s going to text, so your collection is perfect for me. At first, I was afraid I was going to over-use them, but then your monthly updates kicked in and now it seems I never send out the same text twice.”

 

–Manny, 30, Chula Vista, CA

 

Are you ready to text your way into his heart?  Then order The Flirty Text Message Helper here.

Never Run Out Of Clever Things To Text A Guy You Like

 

 

With monthly updates by my team of writers and researchers, two free, kick-butt eReports and classified by 19 dating situations for fast access, you’ll know exactly what to text a guy.  We believe in quality over quantity.  Only the wittiest texts get included in our growing database.  Right now there are only about 350 text flirts in the eBook.  Why?  Because we don’t include eye-rolling crap.

 

Stop struggling to come up with witty text flirts.  This funny, sometimes naughty but always engaging list of flirt texts will spark even more ideas in you.  Sometimes, all you need is a push and you’re creativity kicks in to gear.  Here, buy yourself a little nudge…

 

 

 

 

Need More Info?  Check out our FAQ:

1. How do you decide which text messages go into the Flirty Text Message Helper?
We’re allergic to cliches, rhymes, poems and cheesy pickup lines. Therefore, we won’t include a text if it:
*  Makes our eyes roll
*  Evokes the sound of nails on a chalkboard
*  Makes us long for a shot of insulin
*  Reads like a passage from a flowery, Victorian novel

 

In Other Words, it must:
A. Make us smile or laugh
B. Make us want to know more about the person who sent it
C. Make us think, “Tonight just got more interesting!”

 

2. Where do you get your funny text messages from?
We write our own, scour the web and steal our best friends’ text messages. Then we actually test them on guys, girls, even trannies! If they fit the criteria (See #1) they get included.

 

3. How many texts are in the Flirty Text Message Helper collection?
We’ve hand-picked 320 texts across 19 dating situations. Our collection will grow every month through updates we send via email. Why not more? BECAUSE MOST TEXTS SUCK and our pride will not allow us to include sucky, douchy texts.

 

Are you ready to text your way into his heart?  Then order The Flirty Text Message Helper here.

Can You Believe The Crap That’s Out There?

 

 

If you’ve looked online for ideas on how to text a girl or how to text a guy, you know the sheer volume will make you go cross-eyed. And the cheesiness will make you reach for the Rolaids.

 

Do you really have the time–or the stomach–to go through all those websites and pick out the gems?  We do. Our team of writers and researchers either find or create the winning texts you’ll see in The Flirty Text Message Helper.

 

Why spend days online when you can get the best in a click of a button? (And get monthly updates!).  Order The Flirty Text Message Helper here.  It’s only $6.99 and it comes with monthly updates and free bonuses.

 

All the best,

 

Mike

(To find out more about me, click the “About Mike” tab)

 

 

 

P.S. -The Flirty Text Message Helper is a collection of pre-written flirty texts you can send to the person you’re interested in. Written or hand-picked by our team of writers and researchers and classified by dating circumstance, you’ll never run out of clever things to say! We emphasize quality over quantity–only the wittiest texts get included. It’s for men, for women, but mostly, for results!  Try it here.

 

 

Sending Flirty Texts To Guys You Like Will Never Be The Same!

 

 

*Want to pay by check?  Send to the following address and we’ll email you the ebook right away:

 

Woodpecker Media LLC
1579 Monroe Drive Suite #F-501
Atlanta, GA 30324

 

 

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